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Gymnastics item display
Year: 1982
Location: St Andrew’s Church Hall

ENTER 5 Rickety “old” members of staff dressed in gym kit (old style). The leader of the staff blows a whistle and five members of the Company run in carrying the box (top 4 sections) and arrange mats and springboard around box.

Member of staff (MOS) 1 Alright lads! 20 press-ups at the double! Go! (Blows whistle and boys do press-ups).

MOS 1 Running on the spot, half a minute, Go! (Blows whistle and boys run on spot while members of staff urge them to go faster).

MOS 1 (Boys panting heavily) Just remember lads. All this exercise is good for you.

Boy 1 (Colin Babb) Please sir! If all this exercise is good for you why don’t you do it?

MOS 2 You cheeky devil. Why, when I was your age I was twice as fit as you. And, I’m proud to say, I still am (holds in stomach)

Boy 1 (CB) But why don’t you do any of the exercises?

MOS 3 Because, my boy, we do not need to. We practice for hours every day (Rest of staff nod in agreement). Why, only this morning we spent two hours preparing our vaults.

Boy 2 Could you show us, sir?

MOS 3 Um, er, certainly. OK men! The long fly, after two. One,two! (Blows whistle and staff vault onto box, landing one behind the other sitting on the box. They lean forwards and smallest boy vaults over them. Staff clamber down from box).

Boy 3 Please Sir, Can we do some vaulting now?

MOS 1 Of course. But as you haven’t been vaulting for a long time we’ll make the box higher gradually.

Boy 2 Will you join in?

MOS 1 What? Oh, um, yes alright.

Boys and staff do various vaults over the box. Staff do simpler vaults than boys. After everyone has vaulted another section is added by those present. Finally, when the last section is added……….

Boy 2 Now that we’ve all loosened up why don’t we have a competition. (Staff look shocked and huddle together talking to each other. Then MOS 4 steps forward)

MOS 4 OK. We’ll have a competition, but could you let us go and get changed first?

Older staff run out. Then the younger staff return and commence physical jerks.

MOS 6 Right, are we ready?

Actual competition begins. The person at the box calls out each vault before the teams do them. A panel of two boys and two staff hold up cards to show points awarded. At the end the points are added up and the winners announced.

Written by John Cramp

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